Burger King makes a mighty nice chicken sammich. However, I've noticed a massive drop in scrumptiosness now that one 60 year old guy that had cancer anyway shit himself to death after eating a tomato. 

250 people in the entire world get typhoid fucking fever and I get a downgraded sammich? Bullshit! I know what the odds are. The drive to Burger King was 10,000 times more likely to kill me than eating once I got there. I'm 100 times more likely to win the Powerball than I am to shit myself to death from eating a tomato... and I ain't even bought a ticket. Fuck you, entire world. If I want to jam a fork into a wall socket, that's my own problem.

GIMME MAH TOMATOEZ! 

Check out this picture from a poisoned tomato article. That's right... Salmonella is a cross between centipedes and grasshoppers.

Something else. Tomatoes are expensive, but my less delicious sammich was the same price. Double bullshit! Burger King paid a Mexican $5 to fart in a tomato truck. It's a clever money saving technique, and I'm not falling for it.

I'm onto the tomato conspirators/farters. 

GIMME MAH TOMATOEZ AGAIN!

Start a campaign, not only are they denying you a tamotoe but for a lot of youngsters only get given Burger King for dinner and so they are denying them essential nutrients. 

why not buy some tomatoes and cut em up and put it on there? Kinda like smuggling candy into the movie theater. Just smugle a tomatoe into BK and put it on the sandwhich. If infact you do get sick, blame it on BK for putting a tomatoe on your sandwhich and your financially golden for like a while.  

You been to the grocery lately looking for tomatoes? They are mighty hard to come by.

-Doc

Rabbit:

why not buy some tomatoes and cut em up and put it on there? Kinda like smuggling candy into the movie theater. Just smugle a tomatoe into BK and put it on the sandwhich. If infact you do get sick, blame it on BK for putting a tomatoe on your sandwhich and your financially golden for like a while.  

The whole reason for getting fast food is because you're too lazy to go to a grocery store. Why don't I just bring a bun, chicken and deep fryer too? I'll just waltz into fucking Burger King on my lunch break and be like, "Oh, no thanks. I brought my own."

Also... I'm not going to get sick, goddammit!!! I'm immune to grasshoppers! 

meathorse:

Rabbit:

why not buy some tomatoes and cut em up and put it on there? Kinda like smuggling candy into the movie theater. Just smugle a tomatoe into BK and put it on the sandwhich. If infact you do get sick, blame it on BK for putting a tomatoe on your sandwhich and your financially golden for like a while.  

 

The whole reason for getting fast food is because you're too lazy to go to a grocery store. Why don't I just bring a bun, chicken and deep fryer too? I'll just waltz into fucking Burger King on my lunch break and be like, "Oh, no thanks. I brought my own."

Also... I'm not going to get sick, goddammit!!! I'm immune to grasshoppers! 

 Doesnt your wife drag your ass to the grocery store? I mean, if she does, you're already there so why not just get some of those and have her pre-cut them for you and put them into ziplock bags.

I'm not going to walk around with tomatoes in my pocket because Burger King decided to fuck me!

Fight the power, Rabbit! 

Tomatos are nasty.  I always order my sammiches with no tomatos. 

Dr. Evil:

You been to the grocery lately looking for tomatoes? They are mighty hard to come by.

-Doc

No tomatoes? We have lots of them here in europe...

Fucking Spaniards. I hope all your papercuts burn like a motherfucker.